Clinton

It is almost one month into the new year, the year of our nation's elections, and still, we do not have confirmation that Paris Hilton has officially jumped into the race for the Presidency of the United States. Certainly, looking at her positions, an open minded individual clearly sees how powerful her message is. We can understand how this message would become a jumping off point to propel her to the White House, once people understood that message. Looking at the potential competition, there is not much out there.

The stage is set. It is a certain showdown between the two final presidential candidates. On the left, we have Hillary Clinton, two time winner of the White House sweepstakes, by proxy. On the right (a centrist populist candidate, really), we have Paris Whitney Hilton, doyenne of the international entrepreneurial jetset and self-made multimillionairess. Can anyone doubt that Ms. Hilton would prevail in such a matchup? Of course not. While Clinton has some experience butting heads in Washington, she cannot raise a candle to the natural political acumen that a Paris Hilton brings to the table. You see, it is not about devouring reams of policy briefs, or working the swaying breezes of the congressional floor, it is about being an inspiring presence that can galvanize a distraught and disillusioned America and reset our country back onto a new path of glory. You hire people to master the small stuff.